


So Rukia Slept With Rangiku

by Hardman5509



Category: Bleach
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Mild Sexual Content, Romantic Comedy, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-03-02 14:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2815391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hardman5509/pseuds/Hardman5509
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A one night stand that wasn't really a one night stand has lead Rangiku to pursue a relationship with a less than willing Rukia. Comedy will follow...usually with jokes that will make Rukia scream out loud in pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Awoke Next To

The first thing that passed through her head was the simple question of ‘where am I?’

A turn of her head to see the dark green wallpaper of the 10th Division, complete with the bent daffodil. Okay. Some of her thoughts flew back into her head, thankfully reminding her of why she happened to be in this particular location. She had came to deliver some notes that Rangiku left behind during a Association meeting. Okay. Made sense. While not all of her thoughts had been collected yet, she did come up with a decent theory as to why she ended up sleeping here. Rangiku coaxed her into drinking a lot and the two ended up knocked out all blotto.

Snoring. Rukia huffed out a small giggle. Rangiku is nearby, sleeping off another headache…wait, why did snoring ring through her ears…

…Rukia turned to see a fully naked Rangiku, sharing a bed with her. 

She kept her outburst to a minimum. A tiny gasp that passed out her lips and a shuffling of legs away from the sleeping woman. A leg leaned over the edge of the bed, but she managed to keep herself from falling off and making a loud noise hitting the floor. Rukia took careful steps off the bed and further accessed the situation. 

Rukia wore her rather plain underwear, but one strap of her bra hung loose. She straighten it back and on and searched for her regular clothes, finding them piled in a corner. Obviously she threw them off based around how each piece had been scrunched away in a one part. As she got dressed, Rukia found Rangiku’s clothes hanging on the door of the closet. But the panties weren’t there. At first Rukia started to believe in the general rumor that Rangiku went full commando, but something seemed to be loose in the lower parts of her robe. Digging in, she found the wider hips lacey panties. One quick toss to join the rest of the clothes on the closet door.

Indeed, there were empty bottles left astray all over the kitchen. Two glasses on the table; one empty and one with a slight film of amber-colored liquid within, mostly likely stale and cold. Rukia promptly found Shirayuki hanging with Rangiku’s weapon; meaning that Rukia came in voluntarily. Straightening her uniform out, Rukia beat a hasty retreat.

Rumors will spread about this. Surely someone saw her coming and going from the barracks, possibly even witnessing the two during the act. As she tired to stroll normally, her head swelled along with her knees buckling. The dam of forgetfulness had been broken and the memories came flooding in; ultimately giving her a picture of what happened last night, but the details spread all through out.

Last night, Rukia slept with Rangiku. By slept, she meant ‘fucked’.


	2. A Little Meeting

The ground of eggshells started to feel more like shard of glass.

Rukia’s handwriting took a severe dip. Straight lines were replaced with wavy lines, numbers became letters and vice-versa. Her actions of the previous night had come crashing down on her head even harder than the initial realization. The more she thought about it only made the trembling worse…and she couldn’t stop thinking about it! She tried to hide her shakings whenever Ukitake or Kiyone came by, but she really looked liked she downed a lot of coffee.

She slept with Rangiku.

She couldn’t get over that! How could anyone? Most men who got that chance would go on for months about they banged the busty lieutenant of 10th Division…but Rukia didn’t want to brag nor bring it ever again! She didn’t feel pride for sleeping with Rangiku, she didn’t feel attraction towards Rangiku, she didn’t feel anything! 

But Rangiku’s memory was about loose as her robes, so she might even remember. Rukia started to take calming breathes. It’s been four hours and nobody came in asking how she faired last night. If everything went well, then only her and her alone would know what happened last night. And within a week’s time, even she would forget about it! So no harm done and everything is going to be all right.

And then everything turned out to be not all right.

Through the doors in walked the walking bounce house of funbags herself. Rangiku looked to be in a pleasant mood based around her smile and the little hops in her step. Rukia looked on with a perplexed look as Rangiku approached her and sat down. Rangiku happily stared at Rukia for a few minutes right before kissed the petite girl on the cheek.

“WHAT THE HELL!” Rukia loudly broke the silence.

“For last night dearie.” Rangiku giggled. “I have to say…”

“Say nothing and do nothing!” Rukia barked, scooting further away from the busty maiden. “Surely you realize if my brother finds out, he will destroy you! Hopefully in the aspect of your career rather than your aspect of your life…”

“So let’s keep this a secret.” Rangiku whispered as she laid down on top of Rukia. “You want to know why I’m approaching you like this?” Rukia shook her head with a annoyed look that clearly read ‘no absolutely not go ahead succubus’ but Rangiku continued. “Because you were great. Better than me even. I think we’ll make a great couple.”

“You’re assuming I’m gay or even bi.” Rukai pointed out.

“Converting you will be a great task then.” Rangiku put on a rather wickedly-curved smile deserving of a horror movie villain. The uneven face gave Rukia the strength to break free and back-pedal into the wall. “Okay, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Rangiku held up her hands with a more normal worried look. “But still, the converting thing would make me famous…”

“Or my brother will kill you for turning me gay.”

“Or I’ll survive and we’ll have gay babies.”

“Or my brother will kill you for forcing me to carry your child.”

“Or we’ll live happily after all.”

“Or…”

“Brother.” Rangiku went into a imitation of Rukia; doing her stoic face and her droopy eyes. “Kill me. You’ll become a widow having to take care of our five kids…”

“I’m not going to have any kids with you!” Rukia declared. “Let alone five! Even two!”

“So you’ll have one kid with me?” Rangiku happily asked with hands clasped together. Rukia scowled and crossed her arms. Rangiku dropped the face and then asked, “You do realize I could just paint a different story about us.” Rangiku crossed her arms in return. “Therefore the whole ‘or my brother’ thing will be your problem.”

“Blackmailing me?” Rukia exasperated. Rangiku nodded. “Look-k, I’m not going to let myself become your slave…”

“Not a slave!” Rangiku held up a finger in Rukia’s face. “But a good friend! Maybe you’ll like it and then become my love slave.” Rukia’s cross expression made Rangiku back-track and add, “Partner. You’ll become my partner in romantic affairs. Who knows?” She pulled Rukia in with one arm and held her close to her chest, nearly smothering Rukia with one of her huge breasts. “Maybe we’ll soul-mates deep down, having been separated by circumstances out of our hands!”

“Okay.” Rukia shook her head with a stolid look stuck on her face. “Okay. Maybe. Knowing my luck…” Rukia then changed subjects. “But why me? You can win any man…or bi/gay woman…and you pick me?” Rukia then jabbed her elbow into Rangiku’s lower ribs. “You after my fortune?”

“I have no need for your money.” Rangiku drew Rukia deeper into her booby trap. “But your loving is worth it.”

So Rukia got drew into a life with Rangiku against her will. All to save a little bit of face. Of course, not being a prophet would severally hamper things for her. Over the coming months she would face trials of fire, stone, sea, cheese, monkeys and paper. Rangiku would either bring forth the trials herself or be a bystander to the events that will surround Rukia. This whole affair could be a great change in Rukia’s life! Why…

“Can I help you?” Asked Ukitake as he looked into the room. “You’ve been rather loud and I couldn’t understand a word through the walls…”

“Nothing!” Rukia shoved Rangiku off her and out of sight. “Just Rangiku being drunk again! So Rangiku…” Rukia tilted her head back and forth with a nervous smile. “…is being Rangiku.” Ukitake just shrugged, coughed, and turned away to continue his work.

Rukia felt the glass return to eggshells. Not as painful, but just as annoying…


	3. Guest

The new ‘couple’ had a little trouble finding proper living arrangements. Rukia lived in a prestigious mansion that had it’s own river and a security force of ninjas. Rangiku lived in a simple apartment a few blocks away from her station. Obviously Rangiku wouldn’t be allowed inside the Kuichi without a proper invitation and she would most likely not stay long as Byakuya wouldn’t tolerate her presence. And people would get suspicious if the high-class Rukia constantly went off to a rather shabby shack all the time. So they had to find a compromise. 

So Rangiku’s idea of a compromise lead her to asking Byakuya up front and personal to live at the mansion for a while. At night. After he had already gone to bed.

“Okay.” Byakuya yawned and turned over in his bed spread.

“Wait.” Rukia blankly stared at her brother-in-law. “That’s it? No complainants, no refusal, no demands, no extra conditions…just okay and she can stay here?” She expected him to remain as stoic as ever but she didn’t expect him to agree. 

“She did say she lost her home in a fire.” Byakuya spoke as he yawned again. “Rangiku can stay for a few weeks…should be long enough for her to locate a new house and recover.” If Byakuya hadn’t been so drowsy when the two women approached him and given their flimsy-and-easily-checkable fake excuse he might have also noticed that Rangiku had drew Rukia into another choking hug between her breasts. Rukia had guessed this would be her life from now on; constantly making excuses for her brother and surviving the far more deadlier threat of being smothered by Rangiku. 

“Thank you kindly mister Kuichi.” Rangiku politely stated as she placed a rather sloppy kiss on Rukia’s cheek. 

“Can you handle the rest of the arrangements yourself, Rukia?” Byakuya asked, still massively tired. “I wish to get some sleep.” Rukia whispered a quick yes and Byakuya went silent as he finally got some well-deserved rest after a day of writing paperwork. Rukia and Rangiku snuck out before they continue their conservation they were having right before Rangiku just barged into Byakuya’s room.

“Can’t believe he bought that.” Rukia groaned.

“Can I see my new living quarters?” Rangiku asked with a mock polite attitude like Byakuya’s. “It’s been a long night and all…my place burned down and I…”

“You didn’t really burn down the place did you?” Rukia earnestly asked. 

“I didn’t, all I just did put it on lease and moved out for about three weeks.” Rangiku held up a finger. “I predicted that Byakuya would at least give me three weeks before he got tired of me.” Waving her fingers around she added, “Maybe four weeks if I do all the chores?”

“We don’t have much chores around these parts…” Rukia then imitated Rangiku’s manner of speaking. “…cause we rich folks have people to do that.”

“Well, I’m poor, so does that mean I’m a servant of the Kuchiki family?” Rangiku huffed out a rather mean smile. “I really have gone up in the world. From starving hobo to lieutenant of the Gotei 13 to servant of the Kuchiki family.” Her smile faded as she raised a eyebrow in thought. “Huh. Ya think I would get paid more if I actually became a servant…”

“Enough.” Rukia gasped and stopped Rangiku short. “You’re a GUEST. You don’t have to do anything other than relax and pretend you’re looking for a home. And cover for the fact that Byakuya could very easily check to see if there was a fire at your place.”

“Ah, but will he find time to do so, let alone even care?” Rangiku lead Rukia down the hall with a hand gentle on her shoulder. “As long as I keep my head down and drink a little less than usual, I should be fine. Maybe I can win Byakuya over and convince him to stay here permanently.”

“Ha!” Rukia started to laugh. “Like-ke…hell he will!”

“No sense in not trying!” Rangiku playfully slapped Rukia on the back. “One day, we’ll be sharing rooms…”

“Speaking of that!” Rukia turned around. “We’re heading in the wrong direction. This is towards the backyard rather than the guest chambers.” Rukia sighed as she had to push Rangiku along the way towards the actual rooms. “And no! We aren’t sharing a room. And not even adjoining rooms. We haven’t developed that deep of a relationship yet...let alone a steady relationship.” Rangiku sighed as she realized she couldn’t retort to anything and let herself be dragged off to her new room.

The guest room offered a little bit more than your usual hotel room in the middle of the city. The beds were cleaned twice a week and the room smelled obviously like a bouquet of camellia flowers. Rangikus immediately made herself right at home by jumping onto her personal bed spread. Rukia turned right around and went through the door before being yanked back in by Rangiku. “What now?” Rukia groaned. “You need a tour of the room?”

“Aren’t you going to wish me good night?” Rangiku asked sincerely.

Rukia took in a deep breath before replying with, “Good night.” Finally being let go, Rukia darted over to her room and tucked herself in. The day was finally over and tomorrow might be even worse, so Rukia wanted to get as much sleep as possible. Sleep came to her eventually, but all she dreamt of were giant mounds attacking her and moaning…


	4. Early Morning Rescue

The first thing Rukia expected to see when she woke up this morning were to be one of Rangiku’s large assets right in her face while the busty woman wore a revealing outfit and offering some fresh food.

So seeing Rangiku’s bubbly naked rear taking up 80% of her vision, a apron draping over the other side of the butt being the only thing seemingly covering Rangiku, and the scintillating aroma of a tamagoyaki filling her nostrils didn’t really make her jump out of bed and scream out in surprise like a generic anime male protagonist in a generic harem anime. Rukia just got out of her bed and stood up to face Rangiku. Rangiku handed her a plate of breakfast. “Thanks.” Rukia simply said as she got into her good.

“Not very surprised, huh?” Rangiku chortled as she readjusted her apron’s hip straps. Yeah, Rukia nodded. It was looking fitting there. “I guess I’m getting too predictable. Guess I need to get myself a maid outfit…you into maids?”

“Maid outfit…” Rukia repeated under a muttering breath before speaking out loud, “No. We haven’t gotten that far in our ‘relationship’…” She put stress on the last word to make sure Rangiku understood her very well. “…to get into fetish gear. I do appreciate the meal tho’…” Rukia sighed as she bit into the rolled-up omelet, expecting it to taste something rotten and foul, (Pun not intended) something burnt with the slight hint of oregano.

…ultimately, it tasted like a egg. She wasn’t expecting a explosion of flavor, but at least she could chew and swallow the tamagoyaki without much of a problem. Rangiku clapped her hands upon seeing her new lover enjoy her breakfast. “Looks like that cookbook worked out after all!” She cheered. “I’m going to make some more…”

“Wait, wait.” Rukia reached out and took Rangiku by the arm before the busty woman could exit the room. Rangiku bounced right into Rukia, breasts first of course. Rukia sighed while gently pushing off Ragniku. “Look, what time is it?” Rukia turned her head out the window to look towards the water clock. “Eight AM?” Rukia smacked her lips as she tried to think of what that meant to her. “...I know today’s duties start at nine-thirty…but something else happens at eight in morning today…”

“We go on a date and get relaxed before work?” Rangiku asked with a crooked smile.

“Nah.” Rukia weakly waved back, her drowsiness catching up to her. “Something else…” Rukia’s eyes then darted to Rangiku’s apron. “Woah woah woah…” Recognizing the apron, Rukia jumped back. “Where the hell did you get that apron?” She asked.

“From the closet?” Rangiku asked, her smile fading and raising a eyebrow in question.

“Don’t you recognize the character!” Rukia exclaimed, pointing a finger toward the big character displayed as the only decoration on the apron. Rangiku looked down to see a smiling green leaf waving with it’s left hand. It looked familiar to the well-rounded individual. Everything stopped as she turned around to think where she had seen the character before, letting Rukia see her still naked rear. “It’s Byakuya’s.” Rukia gave a hint.

“Byakuya wouldn’t make a thing like this…” Rangiku put her hands on her hips, giving a look towards Rukia that said, “yeah right!”

“It’s the Wakame Ambassador!” Rukia exasperated. “Byakuya planned for this stupid seaweed to be sold as candy and taiyaki, but it didn’t work out! We wears that stupid apron…”

“If it’s stupid, than why do you care?” Rangiku pointed out, turning around.

“Look, did he see you…like that?” Rukia waved her hands out all over Rangiku’s uncovered body. Rukia hadn’t seen this much skin on Rangiku since the time Rukia stumbled into the showers and saw Rangiku showering. Thinking back that far caused Rukia to blush up a bit. Rangiku caught onto this, and a twisted smile came upon her lips.

“Yes.” Rangiku lied, but Rukia didn’t catch on and gasped, covering her mouth as the horror of the future consequences came over her. “Yes, he saw me dance out of the shower without a towel and take the apron. For a second there, I thought he was going to do something, but all he did was blubber and try to get a single word out.” Rangiku started a slow dance. This only made Rukia shake more in fear. “So, as he was standing in front of the pantry, I had to…” Rangiku demonstrated by swinging her large hips at a toy bunny sitting on a drawer. The bunny went flying off; like someone took a club to it. Rukia openly screamed. “He got right back up and scampered away!” Rangiku laughed.

“You didn’t!” Rukia wailed. “You didn’t! You didn’t!”

“Oh, I did!” Rangiku pounced onto Rukia, taking both of them to the floor. “And now!” Rangiku started to do a crazy little laugh. “I’m going to make you mine!”

“Get off!” Rukia pleaded, becoming all hysterical much like that generic anime male protagonist mentioned above. Rangiku leaned in…

“What is going on in there Rukia?” Banged a authoritative voice and hand. Rukia recognized the noise coming from Byakuya and threw Rangiku off her. “I just got up, and we have a hour before we go on duty.”

“Just got tangled up in bed, that’s all.” Rukia called out, giving a deadly glare to Rangiku. “I’ll be out in a minute.” Byakuya didn’t respond and just left. As soon as his footfalls were out of earshot, Rukia grabbed Rangiku by the shoulder straps and held her up. “What. Were. You. Thinking?”

“Just playing around?” Rangiku meekly replied.

Byakuya might have been severally drowsy last night when Rangiku came over, but he still remembered that she was living with them now. He expected to see her walking in wearing the most flimsy and transparent robe, but his eyes went wide to see her wear her something more concealing. She looked to be embarrassed wearing this much clothing as she sat down. Rukia looked pleased with herself as she sat next to Rangiku.

Byakuya sipped his tea. Perhaps Rukia could keep Rangiku in line and make living with the infamous lieutenant of the 10th Division bearable.


	5. The Actual Morning Rescue, But Not Early

Rukia’s thoughts went somewhere weird as she walked to work. She thought back to her time in the world of the living, when she lived with the Kurosaki family. She would end up watching several different episodes of several different animes, but she saw a familiar trope being played. The protagonist(s) would often run off late for school with a slice of sliced toast glued to their lips. Different methods and qualities of animation, different genres, different character designs, different settings, and yet they all had a scene of someone running with toast in their mouth!

Of course, if she had context instead of just walking into the room and seeing the toast scene she would know that most of the shows were parodying the cliché.

But Rukia couldn’t help but think about the scene. She then envisioned herself doing it; waking up late and noticing the time, quickly making a eggroll and stuffing into her mouth right before tearing out of the door and making tracks towards the 13th Division with her breakfast flopping all around and various pieces falling off and hitting the ground. It would look so ridiculous! And maybe even impossible with some food. Byakuya would call her back and give a long lesson on etiquette before letting her go off to work. And how would she even eat the damn thing?

“Hey, watch out!” Rukia snapped out of her head to be pulled into twin round and fluffy pillows. Out of the danger, she expected to be released from the hold. But there she remained trapped in Rangiku’s breasts. A two-handed push got her free. “Argh!” Rukia let out a groan. “Now what Rangiku…”

“You were about to run into that spear.” Rangiku pointed to the weapon shopkeeper who looked to be a uncomfortable mixture of great concern and aroused enjoyment. Indeed, the man held up a spear that looked to be originally placed in a rack that stood close to Rukia’s height. Rukia looked down to notice that the bottom of the rack had recently been snapped and the spear would have been bent over. 

So…Rangiku…just saved…her life.

“Thank you, let’s go.” Rukia pushed off with a very curt response.

“Don’t I get a thank you?” Rangiku immaturely asked. “Like a kiss, hug, a cookie…”

“I already thanked you, that’s enough.” Rukia groaned, continuing her path through the weapon shop towards the 13th Division. “I won’t nod off this time.” She plainly stated. Rangiku pouted for a brief second before following. She too started to think about something that would cause her to walk off in a wayward direction and possibly towards certain pain. Seems like Rukia had infected Rangiku. 

Rangiku pondered the mysteries of life and how life first came into existence; how humanity shaped itself from the slime and formed into their current shape…well, actually she considered the current state of relations with her new girlfriend with Rukia. While Rukia thought Rangiku’s attraction to her was apart of some scheme or just her having fun, Rangiku honestly developed feelings for the Kuchiki lady. Unlike Rukia, Rangiku remembered that night very well. She remembered every single detail very well.

And she wanted more. She wanted more of the petite girl’s body. 

“Watch it.” Rangiku let out a loud ‘ouch’ as she was pulled by the hair towards solid ground. This accident would have been Rangiku falling into a pond; a less than dangerous fate than what Rukia had to face. Unless the pond contained flora and fauna that attacked intruders on sight, than the only danger Rangiku would had to face would the problem of walking to work with soaked clothes. Not that she hadn’t already…

“Thanks!” Rangiku profoundly thanked despite Rukia’s rather cold method. Rukia muttered under her breath as her response. Rangiku continued to follow behind Rukia like a stray dog would. Rukia tolerated the whole thing.

Their first day at work as a ‘couple’. There will be hijinks, there might be cake and coffee, and if Rukia is lucky she might get a break.


	6. Now We Need A Afternoon Rescue

Work was no better. The one comfort Rukia had to hold onto was that she and Rangiku worked in separate buildings. So Rangiku wouldn’t try to play the sexy secretary the entire time and try to use a photocopier to make pictures of her large ass…impossible anyway given the fact that the Soul Society didn’t have a photocopier. 

But the biggest problem wasn’t the fact that Rangiku wasn’t around, the problem is that she isn’t. With her nearby, Rukia could at least control the busty blonde. But with her running loose around the Gotei 13 buildings, she could break the promise and tell everyone what happened. When the idea came to her, Rukia froze in place; pen trapped between her fingers and her thumb, one leg extended away from her desk and preparing to go get some more paper, and her face stunned in shock. Her fellow members of the 13th Division decided to not question her at all and continued performing their tasks at hand.

Once Rukia managed to realigned herself back in her chair, she dropped the pen and considered her options in case Rangiku decided to take a leak…I mean, leaked. (Doesn’t even make sense…) If Rangiku did spread a rumor around about the affair, the news would catch on like fire and within the hour everyone around would know the whole story, along with a few extra details. So how would Rukia keep plausible deniability and make people believe her? Denying it outright would just make people not believe her. Perhaps using sarcasm to first ‘confirm’ it and then yell out loud that she didn’t do it? Maybe making up a counter-rumor would help, make it sound like Rangiku did some pathetic and made the story about sleeping with Rukia to cover for it. Would just telling people to expect Rangiku spreading a silly rumor be too paranoid to pull off?

Rukia tried to focus on her work, but for some reason she kept thinking about butts and boobs. She wanted to think about work or at least penises, but Rangiku’s large and in-charge assets kept intruding into her mindspace. Rangiku truly really barged into Rukia’s life!

Then came her break. Rangiku asked for Rukia to join her at the park for lunch on her. Being seen together wouldn’t be the problem, the two had lunch before and at least were friends before. The problem would be how Rangiku would treat her to lunch. Dressed as a maid? Get naked and covered her body with sushi…or maybe ice cream and chocolate sauce. Maybe it would be so bad as…breast milk…

“Maybe I should cancel…” Rukia muttered to herself on the way there, hoping to spy Rangiku ahead and not earn her attention. “Just say I got sick and had to run off to get medication. Yeah. I got sick from her food! That would prevent her from making me more stuff…” Rukia trailed off, thinking about breakfast. The tamagoyaki sat well in her stomach; she didn’t feel bad actually. A bit plain, but a little work…

…no compliments for the woman blackmailing her! The hell you thinking? Absolutely not. Rukia pushed her arms down in fury as she stomped her way into the park. Young parents and their kids got out of her way very quickly.

For once, Rukia got it right; Rangiku had dressed up as a sexy French maid and waved over for Rukia, who stood behind a tree. With no other choice, Rukia trembled over to her and sat down next to her ‘girlfriend’. At least the bench Rangiku picked out was within in the middle of some thick trees. Rukia didn’t sit down right away, she took in the sight of the rather basic and obviously store-bought lunch on the bench. Rangiku twirled around with a pleasant sigh, making her skirt rise up. At least she wore more than skin or even a thong, but that…underwear…with the cute rabbit on it…

“IS that mine?” Rukia started out with a yell, but quickly and wisely lowered her voice to confront Rangiku. 

“I found it in the clean laundry.” Rangiku bent over and kissed Rukia on the cheek. The poor girl bounced out of her chair and let out a small scream of pain. “So I had to stretch it a bit…”

“A bit?” Rukia jumped back up and grabbed Rangiku by the straps and started to shake her, her face becoming red and her brows slanted towards her nose. “Our body-sizes are miles apart! That thing is going to snap! And that’s one of my favorite!”

“Eh-heh?” Rangiku meekly smiled and gave a frightened look. She didn’t think this though…

…and then to make things worse for the two of them, the straps broke and Rangiku fell onto the ground rump-first, her breasts escaping from the confides of the outfit. Rukia quickly covered her eyes out of fear from actually enjoying them. Rangiku let out a small ‘eep!’ before covering herself up with her arm. Once more, Rukia thanked Rangiku for picking a secluded spot. “Whoops!” Rangiku half-heartily chuckled out, trying to act normal despite the accident. “Heh, I’m used to this! This isn’t anything new to me…” But as she rose, she stopped suddenly as she felt something poking at her bum. “What the…” She muttered to herself as she continued to get up regardless…

…until the sound of ripping fabric came upon the two’s ears and they knew immediately what happened. Rangiku looked behind her to see a great part of her panties were torn off and laying wrapped around a stick poking out of the ground. Rangiku reached a hand around to feel bare skin under her outfit. Once more she smiled meekly at Rukia, still in shock over the straps breaking.

“Could you…” Rangiku asked with a very tiny voice. “…help me out here?”

“Why?!” Rukia raised her voice way higher than needed. “Don’t you prefer going around naked and showing everyone your revealing form?”

“Not like this…” Rangiku sat back own on the ground to cover her naked bum, with her arms covering her exposed breasts. “I like control in these situations…and…” She gave off a very uncomfortable look as she fidgeted around in place. “…and I’m not too fond of my rear-end…”

“Seriously.”

“Seriously!” Rangiku scooted over to Rukia, which had to be a pleasant experience. “It’s not my best feature! I prefer breasts! They’re more inviting and more interesting than my ass!”

“And yet you slept with a woman with no breasts.” Rukia sarcastically groaned, gracing her hand around her chest to reveal the blindly obvious.

“Rukia…” Rangiku started with a rather unusual sincere tone before stopping herself and asking with her usual, “I’m going to need to borrow some clothes…”

“I’m not going to give you my robes…” Rukia sighed as she went around a bush. “…but seeing how you can wear my underwear without stretching it, I’m going to trust you with another pair…” Rukia then did exactly what she said she would do and tossed over her own pair. Rangiku held onto the dainty piece of fabric. “But we’re going straight home…my home anyway…and you will never wear any of my clothes again, got it!” Rukia angrily stated as she exited from behind the bush. 

“It’s going to be a bit hard wand awkward with this.” Rangiku pointed with her eyes to her arms still covering her breasts. “…not I don’t mind…but I will get into a lot of trouble…there are families and kids around here…”

“All right!” Rukia moaned as she took off her white sash and handed it to Rangiku. “I’m not going to give you my robes…they wouldn’t fit you anyway.” She held onto her Zanpakuto with both hands. “Come on, put them on and we’ll be on our way back.” She pointed over to the bush she just used. “And try to hurry up…I think by now people are going to come over here and make things even worse for us.”

As Rangiku turned around to go behind the shrubbery, Rukia got a good look at her exposed rear-end. As opposed to seeing the all-too present breasts, Rukia found the big bubbly butt to be quite…endearing. Rangiku clearly underestimated this part of her body. Rukia actually found herself not minding seeing it. Nice in fact. It was a nice ass.

Rukia tried to banish that stray thought, but it persisted. Maybe she should get drunk again and try to kill that memory much like the memory of her and Rangiku sleeping together…

Still, as soon as Rangiku got the panties on and wrapped the sash around her breasts like…a wrap, she and Rukia silently returned back to the Kuchiki household to get changed. People of course gave them weird looks, but nothing that would get them into major trouble at least. Rukia felt content that she managed to control that situation…until she realized that they left the food back on the bench and in the time it would take to get changed they would have to get back to work.

At least…AT LEAST…at least Byakuya offered to make dinner this evening. It wouldn’t be bad…but then Rukia recalled that small fact that Rangiku lived in the same household…


	7. Seriously Need A Rescue

If there were ever a book on minor historical events, one chapter would be dedicated to the first dinner Rangiku had at the Kuichiki household.

Byakuya did tonight’s meal of shichimi udon, banana katsu, sunomono, different styles of rice dumplings and tonkatsu served curry. As he started preparing dinner as soon as he arrived home from duty and had been practicing for the past couple of weeks, the meal just screamed flavor in both appearance and in taste. Honestly one of the best meals Rukia ever had! Even with the constant spicy texture heaped on by her brother, it still tasted damn good…even if she had to constantly reach over and refill her glass of milk.

Almost made her forget the fact that Rangiku sat right across to her.

Now, Rangiku at least acted like a regular adult; not slurping her food, not talking while eating, keeping her elbows off the table and not shoving them into people’s ribs, and not shoveling food into her maw all the time. But she did make a cardinal sin that most 50s educational videos spoke out against; monopolizing all of the conservations…and taking a good deal of wine with her meat.

“So, my dad shot her, it was funny to see.” Rangiku chortled out a aborted punchline. If she wasn’t swinging around her wineglass needlessly, she would have seen the blasé looks of the Kuichikis. Rukia matched Byakuya’s face with a few extra hints of anger and terror. Angry for letting Rangiku blackmail her and making this great meal into a long chore, and horrified that a drunk Rangiku will reveal a few details best left untold to the stoic head of the house.

“Interesting.” Byakuya forced out. He was trying so hard to be civil. Bless him.

“Yeah!” Rangiku continued. “So, anyway, today had been rather interesting…”

“Oh?” Byakuya sighed as he leaned back and massaged his temples in a futile attempt to kill a headache. Rukia perked up when she realized that Rangiku could mention today’s incidents…like how Rukia nearly ran into a pointed weapons or how Rangiku ripped her clothes in public. Rukia tried to glare down the busty woman into not talking, but the glowing lady decided to go on.

“…so you see…” Rangiku spun her head around, trying to keep herself up right. “Rukia and I walked to work, and we talked about something important!” She spun a finger up into the sky. “Like…super important. Too important to tell you.”

“Glad you brought it up.” Byakuya sighed. At least his no-nonsense attitude kicked in and he would disbelieve anything that the drunk woman would say. Unless Rangiku sobered up to talk more coherently and had pictures of the event or somehow recovered the thrown-away ripped panties, Byakuya would just roll his eyes during the entire meal. Rangiku had recently taken control of the dishes and started to shovel food onto her plate and into her mouth. Then again, the other two at the table had lost their appetite.

“So!” Rangiku suddenly bellowed. “We were walking down the road when a madman armed with a spear came running at us!” She grabbed her chopsticks and held them like the mentioned weapon, jabbing them forward. “Rukia was taken by surprise, so I had to step and pull her out of harm’s way! The madman went flying forward and crashed into a pond!” She took a rice-ball and dumped it a bowl of soy sauce, causing the contents to splash out and stain the tablecloth. Byakuya merely sighed, trying oh so hard to remain civil.

“I gave him such a thrashing!” Rangiku started to wildly swing her arms like a bad boxer, thankfully not hitting anything. “I snatched and snapped the spear before pounding away at him with my…” She reeled her torso back again as she tried to motion with her fists again, but she ended up panning over her breasts. Suddenly, a mental image of Rangiku subduing a vicious and possibly insane attacking by swinging her breasts so hard it must have felt like a steel warhammer being swung by a Viking warrior entered into both Kuichiki’s heads. And it wouldn’t be going away any time soon.

“Oh.” Byakuya emitted.

“Oh yeah!” Rangiku bounced up, causing her massive bounty to bounce. “He won’t be doing anything for a LONG time!” She hiccupped and finally fell over to the floor back-first, landing with a good thud. Rukia for a second wondered how gravity allowed her to get up with such a heavy weight on her chest. But she quickly bounced back up like nothing happened. “I’m pretty sure I sent him to the hospital.” Rangiku mused. “I should send him flowers…I didn’t mean to do that much damage…”

Byakuya shifted in his seat. He might take action now or at least soon. What sort of action would he take was anyone’s guest. It could be a physical confrontation with Rangiku needing a first-aid kit or verbal with a tongue-lashing so harsh it would cut Rangiku’s flesh. Either way, Rangiku wasn’t coming out of this unharmed. 

Rangiku continued her story without even commenting on her fall. “So, after a long day of doing noottthhhhiiiiinnnngggg….” She trailed off as her body started to swivel around her hips. “…which is usual for work…so I invited Rukia for lunch at the park…” Rukia once more tried to give Rangiku the evil eye, but Rangiku continued. “…and Rukia saved my life when I had this near accident.” Rukia started to mouth ‘no’ over and over again, not knowing her brother could see her and understand. “…I got all dressed up and she…”

Rukia had no choice. She jumped over and tried to get Rangiku to keep her trap shut, but the end result wasn’t a successful shutting down, but rather a sexual assault by latching onto her breasts and making the two women fall over and roll to the wall behind them, with the table and all the contents resting on top falling off. Even though Rukia quickly removed her hands from the mounds, Rangiku obviously felt it and Byakuya saw it. For no apparent reason, it just looked like Rukia just jumped over to cop a feel.

Byakuya needed a second to get all information processed. He saw Rukia mouth ‘no’ repeatedly before jumping over and just taking ahold of Rangiku’s breasts without any reason or any warning. So many, MANY questions to be asked and answered! He stared at the two women just sitting there in a awkward pose, one such pose that looked like they were about to do it right then and there and were caught undressing.

It remained like this for a good minute. Rukia’s hands might no longer be resting on Rangiku’s breasts, but her body became stuck within Rangiku’s valley. Rukia quickly dislodged her head out and ran off into her room to hide in there for a bit and wait for whatever hell would come her way, be it from Byakuya or even Rangiku…

Little did Rukia know, something that like this that would become a recurring element, that things would only get weirder from here on out. Not good or bad, but weird.


	8. Dine With Me Or Else

The next morning brought a crashing wave of dread upon Rukia. The events of last night wouldn’t be forgotten for a long time, and today would be no exception. As she slowly got out of bed and took her time to do her routine, she worryingly wondered want would happen today. Would Byukuya take her into his office and have a little lecture about the offenses she committed? Would Rangiku step up her little game of torment? Maybe even the ground ninjas would get involved and do something?

Rukia peered out the door of her room to see if the halls were clear. With a little luck, she should be able to get out of the house and go to work without running into either of the last night’s dinnermates. Maybe if she moved fast and kept silent, she could also get a quick breakfast as well. Hitting the wall, Rukia slunk down the hall and towards the kitchen…

…when the obvious happened and Rangiku surprised Rukia with a “Good morning kiddo! How did you sleep?” Rukia jumped and Rangiku waited until Rukia stood on both feet on solid ground before continuing. “Did you sleep well? You Kuchikis really know to make a comfy bed…”

“Well!” Rukia blurted. “I slept inna well!” Rukia slurred her words and accidently added in a needless word, leading to Rangiku to remark with:

“I know we are techinally spirits and all, but sleeping in a well sounds uncomfortable.” Rukia groaned as Rangiku giggled at the dumb joke. Rukia sighed and opened her mouth to give off some sort of excuse but Rangiku instead stuffed Rukia’s open mouth with a roll of takuan. “Byukuya made breakfast! He’s wise, a great leader and a wonderful cook? He sounds like the perfect husband!”

“Wwwhhi nwhot gwo for whim wthwen?” Rukia asked with the thick radish still in her mouth. Despite who gave her the treat, Rukia chewed away at it. Once again, her brother’s cooking really hit a grand slam…if she was using the terminology correctly. Rangiku walked alongside Rukia and waited for her to finish chewing and swallowing the treat before continuing to talk. 

“Oh, he might be perfect material for me and…” She titled her head back and forth a few times. “…well, everyone really. Men and women included. But I’m not his wife material. I admit, I lack and possess certain qualities he wouldn’t much care for.” Of course, both girls knew that Byukuya wasn’t looking for anyone, Rangiku was just speaking her thoughts out loud. Rukia looked away from the busty female, starting to feel a little disheartened just thinking about her sister. Rangiku did pick up on Rukia’s discomfort and switched to a different topic. “So, what kind of person you’re into? Bad boys, the academic ones, something in between…maybe other girls?” Rangiku complemented with a finger poking at her left breast.

“I’m into good people.” Rukia again blurted out. Last night had turned her into a bit of a nervous wreck.

“I’m good.” Rangiku smiled. “In fact, I’m better. I got a lot of things most people lack…” Rukia mouthed out a insult, but turned her head away made sure that Rangiku didn’t see her mouth. While she didn’t want Rangiku to stay in her house anymore, Rukia really didn’t want to hurt Rangiku’s feelings. “In fact, I can prove it. We can go on a date tonight. A steak place! Inspired by the restaurants in the Human World! And I can get us a free meal too!”

“No thanks.” Rukia gently waved her hand. “I’m good.”

“I insist.” Rangiku bended down to face Rukia with a rather happy demented look. In fact, the moment Rukia stared back she knew exactly what that look meant; revenge. “Tonight we get to have a nice date. The two of us. Eating the same table. With nice dresses. See you at eight.” Rangiku mockingly patted Rukia on the head. The busty lady then left Rukia with another roll of takuan in hand.

Well, there’s the revenge. Knowing Rangiku would obviously get a more vicious kind of vengeance if she was left hanging at the date, Rukia made a mental note to get a proper dress and take a nice bath before the date. Might as well take it seriously! It might make the whole forced-date-after-a-accidental-molestation go by faster. Rukia would have gone to work with a clear mind, but she could hear Rangiku’s laughter from down the hall…echoing throughout her mind…


	9. Trial By Candlelight

Rukia took one last long look in the mirror to make sure she looked decent before heading out to that date. A half-hour bath brought out a nice healthy color in her skin and made her hair sleek and shimmer. She picked out a decent-looking yet simple looking black and white kimono; one that wouldn’t too much of a hassle to clean or mend if something were to happen…which Rukia expected. She looked the part and felt ready to have a date with the busty lieutenant of the 10th Division.

The day itself had been normal up to now. Rukia went to work and did it without delay. No people asking weird questions about Rukia’s current relationships with Rangiku Matsumoto, no unusual packages being delivered, Rangiku didn’t pop by wearing something ‘sexy’, nothing of note happened. Just a basic day of basic training and repetitive paperwork. At least it allowed for Rukia to keep her head steady and her mind sane for tonight’s date. Knowing how things have been going, this could get rather stupid really fast.

Byakuya just figured the two were trying out the new restaurant in town, with the assumption of Rukia was apologizing for last night’s little problem. Rukia went along with that, not wanting to get him involved with whatever scheme that Rangiku had planned for tonight. 

Rukia took her time walking to the place. The streets at dusk were scare of life but you could still see and hear plenty of activity coming from the buildings. All the people that didn’t want to spend even a single minute in a line had come out near the store’s closing times to get want they wanted without the bustle of a normal day. Rukia often did that; some days she just wanted to shop in peace and quiet. Maybe with a little luck the date would end early and she could get some shopping done.

The name of steak place was in English letters that read out ‘Texas-Style.’ Rukia didn’t get it, but it looked lively and a delicious aroma emitting from inside. Rukia didn’t mind steak, but hey it would be something different and she could use some good food. She did ask a few friends at work if the place was any good, and they either haven’t heard of it, haven’t tried it, or said it was okay. So it had to be decent at the very least. Hey, even if Rangiku’s plan (Whatever it would be) worked against Rukia, maybe she would get to try some good food!

She approached the waiter, dressed in the traditional clothes a waiter would wear in the Soul Society as opposed to whatever style this restaurant went with, at the front and asked, “Excuse me? I’m Rukia Kuchiki, and I believe me and a Rangiku Matsumoto have a table?”

“Yes, Ms. Matsumoto has already arrived and she’s waiting for you.” The waiter politely pointed over to a table near the back and in the middle and walked over to it, Rukia following behind.. Knowing how things were going for her, Rukia expected the waiter to make a snarky comment and just point her in the direction of the table. And yet another surprise awaited for Rukia at the table: Rangiku wearing a nice conservative purple dress! It didn’t even reveal even a hint of her breasts! And she sat normally, looked pleasant, not even a object that could be used as a sexual joke laid on the table!

Oh, this was a set up all right!

Rukia sat down at the chair opposing Rangiku. If this was a set up, might as trigger it and escape at the earliest opportunity. “You’re a bit early.” Rangiku mentioned. “I just sat down.” A waiter then came by and delivered a bottle of koshu wine.

“Decided not to disappoint you.” Rukia responded in kind. “Nice outfit.” She added in a compliment not because it would keep the mood pleasant but because she honestly liked the dress.

“Thank you!” Rangiku cheerfully replied. “Had this dress still sitting around for some time. Glad it still fits me.” She passed a menu over to Rukia. “Go ahead and pick something out. The owner has a favor to repay and I turned it in for free meals…whatever we want!” Rukia smiled back and looked over the menu. The menu didn’t offer a hundred things like the recent place Byakuya dragged Rukia to and it had more than twenty items unlike that dive that Ichigo took her to in the human world. Rukia’s eyes scanned the paper menu for anything interesting and she found one such item: grilled hanger steak with a cucumber salad! She could eat that, no problem!

Honestly? Rukia enjoyed the date. Her meal actually tasted real good! She honestly wanted to come back here on her own and try out a few dishes. The service actually moved fast and efficiently at that; while they were a bit busy tonight they still managed to get the food out in time and they got the pair whatever they needed to enhance their dining experience. And Rangiku…actually behaved a bit better than usual. Sure she did spice up their conservations with innuendos whenever possible but she didn’t do anything too ridiculous or even reach over to get a little touchy-feely. Rangiku kept her distance and kept things civil.

But seeing how has I skipped the entire date, you know that the real main event it still to come.

Rukia patted her mouth down with a napkin to get some sauce that spilled. She finished her meal and she didn’t feel too heavy in the stomach. All in all, a great meal! She almost asked for the check until she remember the meal was free. Even then, she would gladly pay for it herself regardless! Before Rukia could get up to go and use the ladies’ room, Rangiku held up a hand to stop her. “We’re not done yet.” Rangiku let out a low chuckle. “There’s one more thing we have to do before we can leave.” Rukia sat down, figuring this was the revenge plan going into effect.

With a snap of her fingers, Rangiku summoned an army of waiters. They came out in a chorus line carrying a huge chocolate cake and starting to sing a song. Rukia’s eyes went wide open as the crux of Rangiku’s plan became very clear to her. Before she could make a hasty retreat, a waiter suddenly appeared behind her and put on a silly birthday hat.

Rangiku’s revenge scheme was the ‘embarrassing-restaurant-birthday-ordeal.’ And Rukia’s face already started to redden into a deep crimson. With the plan in effect, Rangiku relaxed her posture. Leaned back in the chair, and opened up a flap in her dress to reveal her characteristic cleavage line. This made her night! Free food, free cake…and poor Rukia red as a beet! Maybe she enjoyed tormenting the poor girl a bit too much…

“This isn’t my birthday.” Rukia finally muttered out under her breath.

“Honey, we should treat everyday as your birthday.” Rangiku breathed out, taking a long swing out of her wine glass. “After all…”

Before Rangiku could finish her sentence, her leaned back position got in the way of the waiter carrying the matches. Her tripped over her legs and his lighted match fell onto the tablecloth. The cloth caught alight within seconds. Seeing the fire and not thinking ahead, Rangiku grabbed her glass and poured the contents on the flame. The fire liked the grape wine so much it decided to show it’s appreciation by expanding itself to the entire table, but as fire doesn’t have manners, it promptly started to engorge itself on the cake.

Both Rukia and Rangiku had backed off. “What made you think that would work?” Rukia shouted at Rangiku.

“I forgot…” Rangiku bemoaned as she reached for a empty table and yanked the tablecloth of it. She attempted to fan the flames, but the alcohol-powered fire saw the second table-cloth as another chance to go even further and hopped on over. Rangiku eeped and threw the now flaming sheet over to the side, where it (Of course) landed on a curtain and THAT caught on fire too. “…well, how I’m supposed to know if everything here is flammable?”

Rukia didn’t respond to the asinine statement. All around her were people panicking. The fire had started to expand all across the restaurant, and Rangiku was just standing around trying to figure out how to put out the fire without making it even bigger than before. If Rukia had her sword on her, she could have used her bankai to put out the flames…and freeze Rangiku into a block of ice so she wouldn’t cause any more problems! Now, if this was the human world, Rukia could have taken a fire extinguisher by the far wall, use the dishwasher showerhead to try and fight the fire herself, or made a quick phone call to the local fire department. Of course, the Soul Society lacked the first two and it would take a while for the fire fighters to arrive…with their buckets of water and/or that prototype machine that Mayuri recently built.

Best try to put out the fire before that appears.

Rukia rushed into the kitchen and looked for the sink. Several barrels of collected rainwater stood next to it, with one already open and having a large ladle sticking out. The petite girl grabbed the barrel, threw the ladle aside, and dragged it as fast as she could back into the front. One of the waiters had smartly pushed Rangiku off to the side to prevent her from causing any more trouble. Two more waiters, big ones, came and took over the barrel. Their bigger size and muscles made it easier to pour water out of the heavy barrels and onto the raging fire. Rukia and a couple other waiters rushed back to get the other barrels.

Things were looking better! Rukia thought to herself as she dragged a smaller barrel into the front. That simple positive thought lead to two things happening to Rukia. First, she accidently dropped the barrel; the edge of the bottom rim coming down on her toes. As she looked down to see what happened (While doing the dance of foot pain) she saw that this barrel had writing on it, unlike the other ones. As she read out the writing in her head, the two strong waiters rushed off and grabbed it.

“WAIT!” Rukia loudly pleaded as the waiters went back to work with a new barrel. “THAT’S…” She barely got out the last word as the waiters dunked the barrel over the site of the original fire. “…grease.”

The fire loved this! Low sulfur petrochemical really made it explode into a literal red-hot flame that engulfed the restaurant within seconds. Rukia fell to the floor out of shock, but had enough nerve to scoot away from the fast-growing fire. Rangiku did the opposite; she jumped over a few of the growing fires and to a barrel. Rukia lifted a hand and tried once more to shout out to Rangiku: “Don’t throw water on a grease fire!”

Rangiku stopped, but with the weight of the barrel she ended up following through with her plan. The water went into the fire and the combination caused the fire to shoot up to the ceiling, catching that on fire as well. Rukia screamed out in frustration. She stood up to shout: “RANGIKU! STOP!”

“OKAY!” Rangiku stepped back and stood still. As bad luck continued to roll like it would in Vegas, a ceiling beam fell down and landed on the easy target.

“I MEANT STOPPING INTERFERING, NOT TO STOP MOVING!” Rukia bemoaned, now having two problems…well, she already had two problems to begin with, now she just had less time to fix them both. Trapped by fire around her, Rukia looked around for anything she could use. Somehow, by sheer dumb luck, a wooden broom remained untouched by the hungry fire. Recalling the words behind the Kido spell, she dropped the broom for only a second before tapping the long end to make it spin in the air. Whispering ‘Tenran’, a wide tornado spurned out of the broom. The spell torn all throughout the restaurant, blowing out the fire with extreme winds. While the fire was merely put out, the furniture didn’t share the same luck. Chairs and tables were flown against the walls, the doors and the windows; some of them shattering into wooden splinters on contact. Tablecloths and other assortment of drapery were picked up and flung all over, and unitsels became embedded into walls. Thankfully only Rukia and Rangiku were the only people still inside by this point, or those steak knifes would gone and poked out some poor fellow’s eye.

Rukia let the broom drop to the floor to access the situation. The fire was all gone, leaving only black burn marks as a reminder of what happened. They also served to the only assortment of decoration as the actual decorum had been flung all over into chaotic fashion. Rukia noticed a hand sticking out of a nearby fallen ceiling beam. She rushed over and lifted the beam up to get Rangiku freed.

“You saved my life!” Rangiku exasperated as she got back up on her feet. “For a second I thought you would leave me behind…”

“No.” Rukia shook her head and sighed. “Come on, let’s go home before we get into any MORE trouble.” Rukia held out her hand. Rangiku was a bit surprised at first, but she did take the hand and they walked out together. The crowd outside the now-charred restaurant looked at the two as they walked outside of fire zone fairly calmly. They did have some bit of ash on them and the busty lady had her eyebrows singed off as well as her dress being ruined, but they looked fine otherwise. Some of the waiters recognized them, but they kept quiet as they were too tired from a long day of work.

The pair walked through the front door and prepared to go to their respective rooms when they ran into Byakuya, heading to bed himself. He looked at the two with alarming eyes. “I have two questions Rukia.” He asked after a few seconds of staring. 

“The restaurant nearly burned down, you’ll hear about it in tomorrow’s paper.” Rukia brushed him off and headed to her room.

“Okay. Now, about the party hat.”

Rukia reached up and felt the paper hat, still attached to her head. She tore it off and silently to bed without as much as a ‘good night’ to her brother-in-law and her houseguest.


	10. Tide Twister

Three mornings in a row. Rukia woke up expecting something stupid to happen. Why not, this was going to be a recurring element in her life now that Rangiku had barged into it! As she went to sleep the night before, Rukia made a few predictions. Byakuya would greet her with the newspaper, saying that she and Rangiku burned down the new steak restaurant. Rangiku would be there, wearing a maid’s outfit she procured out of nowhere and making sure Rukia would memorize every aspect of her body. Perhaps a few Shinigami would arrest her for the arson? It wouldn’t be good, no matter what.

Nothing. Rukia scanned the room around her and saw the usual things that her room had been decorated with. No changes, no unusual items, nobody waiting around, nothing different. She slowly rose out of bed and approached the door, ready for the parade and band to barge in. Rukia swung open the door and got greeted by the opposing wall. Good morning, it said. Sleep well?, it asked.

Rukia didn’t answer it and walked in the direction of the kitchen. Yes, that’s where the big surprise going to be! A cake with Rangiku waiting to burst out? Shinigami waiting for her? Rukia hit the wall and tilted her head around the corner, using one eye to spy on the activity in the kitchen. It seemed normal. Byakuya eating breakfast and Rangiku working on her’s…and possibly Rukia’s. Rukia sighed and rounded the corner to walk into this ‘trap’ head-on.

“Good morning.” Byakuya greeted…in a rather cherry way for him. Rukia took a step back, cautious. “Still a little jumpy from last night I see.” Byakuya remarked as he picked up the newspaper off the table and turning it to show Rukia the front page. While not the headline story, the story appeared on the bottom half in big letters: ‘Lieutenant saves restaurant from fire.’ Byakuya threw the paper over to Rukia. She caught it and started to read the story in her head.

“Texas-Style suffered a major grease fire last night that has forced the place to be closed for the three weeks to repair the damage and replace all the furniture. Thankfully, the fire had been put out by one of the Shinigamis, recognized later as Kuchiki Rukia of 13th Division. She and her friend, believed to be Matsumoto Rangiku of 10th Division, were having dinner when one of the waiters dropped a lighted match and set the place ablaze. The same waiter’s attempts to put out the fire only caused it to grow bigger.”

Rukia let out a small gasp. 

“I know!” Rangiku piped in. “They’re finally going to add in a new bath house for the lower divisions. It’s really big and all, and we could enjoy together!”

“That’s not it….” Rukia groaned back and turned over a few pages to read the rest of the story. Continued on page A6, ‘Lieutenant stops clumsy waiter.’ Did the restaurant really place all the blame on the one waiter that Rangiku tripped? So Rukia read on, “Rukia quickly went to the rescue as she grabbed a broom and used it as a mock Zanpakutō to cast a Kidō spell that wiped out the fire. Rukia and her date silently left the place, and neither have come forward to make a comment. The waiter responsible for the fire, whom the restaurant has decided to not release the name of, has been let go. No charges have been made against this employee by either the staff or the fire department.”

Suddenly the remaining bits of last night’s dinner churned inside of Rukia’s stomach and a odd mixture of fluids backed up into her throat. That poor man had to take the blame for Rangiku’s mistake! And now Rukia knew exactly what to expect today. People congratulating her endlessly all the while blasting that poor employee for the mistake he didn’t make.

And Rangiku looked so pleased with herself as she scooped a fried egg out of the pan. She created a stupid (Yet highly embarrassing) plan to get revenge for two nights ago and nearly burned down an entire building. Not a single ounce of regret weighted down on Rangiku’s shoulders or even a shred of empathy appeared on her face. She handed Rangiku a plate of food and walked off with a gentle smile on her face.

But Rukia chewed into her actually-nicely done meal, she considered not jumping on top of the tallest building of the land and yelling out the truth of what happened last night. After all…Rangiku knew what really happened the night the two slept together. And the busty woman was using that as blackmail.

All’s fair in love and war, after all.

Rukia put on a little smile. Yes, she felt really repentant for letting that waiter become a scapegoat, but this could work out in her favor. It would Rukia calling the shots around here, and not the unwanted guest.


	11. That's Ms. Kuchiki To You

The next couple of days were rather quiet despite Rangiku’s constant presence around the household and workplace. Of course, that’s not to say she didn’t do anything, oh no. She still delivered meals to Rukia during work and tempted the young Kuichiki at home with various sexy outfits. Rukia kept herself silent, waiting for the right moment to hit Rangiku with a best right hook. Not a real punch; given their height differences, Rukia would end up smacking Rangiku in the boob. Something that would feel good…

Rukia slapped herself. This got the attention of Ukitake, who was walking by during one of his many attempts to cure himself of art-block. Seeing his partner slap herself in the head out of the blue didn’t really bring a powerful story-building idea to his mind. A story about his hero fighting a villain who controls other people’s doubts and forces them to fight for his villainous ideals? No, his editors would change the villain into some thief who steals dreams and there would be a subplot about a dolphin. Just because he didn’t update Sōgyo’s adventures every month doesn’t mean the editors could force stupid changes. He grumbled off back to his office, leading to him becoming the center of attention instead of Rukia.

Rukia had buttoned her lip about the truth about what really happened in the restaurant. But then again…so had Rangiku about what really went down the night they two supposedly slept together. She hadn’t used it against Rukia in a while. Rukia had considered that she simply got drunk and climbed into Rangiku’s bed naked, with Rangiku doing the same later. They didn’t have sex, they just ended up falling into the same bed together! Of course, no proof of that. Rukia was living proof of what happened during the fire of course.

Rukia tuned her eyes to the nearby sundial. Lunch time is coming soon. Rangiku will come walking in with a picnic basket and would whisk Rukia away to a park. Hopefully she would be wearing her regular Shinigami robes instead of some silly outfit. If she walked in with only a apron decorating her massive, Rukia would go bald from all of the hair-pulling she would be doing. Hopefully today would be the day where Rangiku would make a mistake and allow Rukia to keep her underneath her thumb.

“Rukia ~” Rangiku called from outside, sticking only her outstretched arm carrying the basket through the door. “I got sandwiches ~”

Still, free decent lunch. Rukia put away her work and joined her ‘girlfriend’ for their lunch break. They went out to the same park they went to during their first date, the same one where Rangiku ripped her outfit. At least she wore her regular robes instead of some elaborate getup and staid away from the more forested area. “Egg sandwich?” Rangiku waved a wrapped sandwich in front of Rukia’s face, like a stupid parent waggling a stuffed key-ring in front of a toddler’s face to entertain it. Rukia did what most smart toddler’s woukd do, snatch the item and stuff into her mouth. Hmm. Egg, wheat, and plastic. 

After she torn off the plastic with her teeth, Rukia turned to see Rangiku playing with her outfit, tugging on the robe’s collar to show off more flesh. Ah, today’s lunch is sandwiches, tea, cookies and sex. Rukia’s absolute favorite. “Looks like we’re hitting record highs.” Rangiku moaned as she looked towards the ever-present and foreboding sun. “Man, these robes…” She started to slowly pull apart her robes to thankfully reveal her wearing a bra. “So…”

“J'accuse!” Rukia jumped up and pointed a commanding finger at Rangiku’s face, mostly towards the beauty mark. “You aren’t going to tempt me with your luscious body!” Rukia almost wanted to erupt into mad laughter but kept her cool and continued with her little confrontation speech she had been working on for several days. “Not after you let a poor, innocent man take the blame for your crime!” Rangiku looked perplexed. “Our date? At the steak place? The one you burned down?”

“Oh yeah.” Rangiku muttered under her breath and covered up her infamous cleavage with her robes. “Oh dear…” She also muttered as she realized Rukia’s true intentions.

“Trust me, I’m the hero now, so people will believe me.” Rukia sighed, but keeping her smile intact and glaring at the quivering Rangiku. “So…how will we proceed?” Rukia paced around Rangiku, still laying down on the ground. “I mean, I could kick you out of my home…” Rukia stopped herself short, coming to a realization of her own…she hadn’t thought this far ahead. She almost expected Rangiku to pull an excuse out of her cleavage. But with Rangiku clearly scared of the consequences, Rukia had clearly won this out. Now she needed to continue…but with what?

“Let’s see…” Rukia pondered to herself, still trying to be imitating. At least Rangiku still looked scared. “…how about you do EXACTLY what I say from here on out?” Rangiku bobbed her head in agreement. “Wow.” Rukia popped out suddenly, breaking away from her tough demeanor for a second. She regained her ground before Rangiku had a chance to confront her. “You…really don’t want to be punished for the fire, huh?” Rangiku again bobbed her head. “That’s sad.” Rukia commented on.

“It was a accident…I didn’t mean it.” Rangiku weakly apologized. “I was attempting to have a good time while making fun of you…”

“Now a man is villainized and out of a job because of you.” Rukia pointed out. “But I don’t to let a fellow Shinigami be arrested for a small accident. On the other hand…” Rukia bent down and cupped a hand around Rangiku’s chin. “…I really don’t appreciate the advances. You can stay, but don’t expect me to tolerate you as often.” 

“Understood.” Rangiku sighed, completely dejected. Rukia let her go and took a second sandwich out of the basket and walked off, leaving Rangiku alone and miserable. Rukia this time unwrapped the sandwich before taking a bite. She felt satisfied. Rukia had placed Rangiku into her corner and planned on keeping the busty woman there for a long time. Rangiku will definitely keep her distance from here on out. But what would Rukia do with her new slave? And, more importantly, how will she insure this wouldn’t backfire against her in some spectacular manner?

…will she regret doing this to Rangiku, the woman who threatened to reveal a nasty secret, forcibly trespassed into her home and let someone else take a blame for her crime?

Most likely not.


	12. Served On A Tarnished Platter

It feel good to have all this power, and all of it could be controlled with a mere flick of her fingers.

Rukia stared out into the descending sun, taking in the dark orange and bright yellow skyline. Quite a sight, it’s not often she got to view the beautiful conclusion of the day from this tall angle. Today had been a good and a surprisingly short day for her. Hearty meals, easy work, and every person she ran into today were nice to her.

And Rangiku obeyed every little order given.

For the first in a long time, Rukia woke up without the constant dread of something really stupid and weird happening. She woke up and got breakfast; a normal morning. Rangiku came down the stairs, wearing her robes like a normal person. The residents of the Kuchiki mansion cleaned their dishes and went to work…normally. 

Rangiku had been a real treat today. She didn’t barge into Rukia’s workplace wearing her naughty kitty outfit and ask for lunch, she didn’t invade anyone’s privacy, kept her mouth shut whenever Rukia gave a simple look, and kept her robes closed the entire time. She looked a bit hot…guess she wasn’t used to dressing up all the way. In the middle of fall.

Rukia tapped her glass with a pinkie. Rangiku sighed and went over with the pitcher and poured her master her third glass of rice wine. “Thank you.” Rukia nodded as she downed half of the wine in one shot. Rangiku silently went back to her position and waited for Rukia’s next instruction.

Rukia already gone a bit mad with the power. Now that she lorded over Rangiku, she started to use her more like a slave than to keep her in-line. Felt…right to her. Rangiku clearly had no remorse for running someone’s life, and she needed to be reminded of her fault with pure hard work. No more slacking off and using her charm to worm out of work, she had to do it…or the great restaurant hero Rukia would be telling what actually happened.

“How much longer?” Rangiku asked.

“Until bed time.” Rukia quickly reminded her by pointing at the nearby sundial. The setting sun would have served as a better clock, but Rangiku did as she was told and noticed that she had to serve as the maid for another one and a half hours. 

“Can I at least put on my sexy maid…”

“No.” 

“Please? It would make me feel like…”

“No.”

“Come on! I need some sort of…”

“No.”

“Rukia, I promise you. I’ll obey your commands for a entire year if it just means…”

“No again.”

“Can you say something other than no? And are going to keep interup…”

“Yes and yes.”

Rangiku gave in and went back to waiting for her next order. Admittedly, Rangiku’s pouty face did make Rukia slightly regret her actions…but she passed it off, figuring it to be a side effect of getting drunk. She shrugged and downed her glass before asking for her fourth refill. Rangiku bowed to her master before filling up.

After a few more glasses, the sun had finally descended and the lunar light replaced the solar beams. Rukia had become fully and absolutely drunk, so her final order before letting Rangiku go was to go and tuck her in. “I’m might be drunk, but I will remember what I was wearing, so no funny business.” She aptly told Rangiku. The busty woman sighed and simply tucked Rukia into bed. If not for the great fear of being exposed for being a arsonist and losing her job, she would have snugged up to Rukia.

Rukia went to bed, drunk off her ass, and non-caring about tomorrow’s uneventiable hangover. But she made one mistake. One little slip-up. One little hole in her great plan big enough to drive a truck through. One missing brick in the foundation, one card short of a deck, one fry short of a happy meal…wait, that’s stupid metaphors. Moving on.

Rukia’s one and only fault…she thought to herself: “What can possible go wrong?”

The ninjas guarding the grounds of the mansion weren’t as strong as those who work within the Gotei 13, but they could easily hold off any regular person seeking to rob a big place. And yet, despite their training from a powerful captain and years of, they failed to notice a lanky man sneaking past them. A lanky man who didn’t bother change into a cheap Halloween ninja costume or even put on black clothes, he literally walked on site in his street clothes. As you can see, this isn’t the case of the guards being lazy or the intruder being intelligent. It’s the case of lazy and convenient writing to move the story forward without having to write extended passages of text describing the exact method of how the intruder managed to outwit and bypass a entire security network of highly-trained ninjas. It would be too much effort to put into a stupid and silly story, and thus I bothered not. So we shall move on to the main meat of this story as we return back inside the mansion to follow the intruder as he followed up on his plans.

He didn’t know where exactly they were, so he proceeded slowly through the corridors. He tried to pick up a familiar scent but he couldn’t find it. Rangiku hadn’t been allowed to use her perfume since becoming Rukia’s slave. So the intruder had to peek into all the rooms to find his targets. He didn’t have to wait long tho’, as he spotted the vixen leaving the room.

She didn’t see it coming, one blow to the back of the head and she was out cold. The man left Rangiku there to proceed into the room she just left. There laid the drunk Rukia who was mumbling about bunnies bouncing all over her. It didn’t take much for her to be subdued and dragged outside along with Rangiku. Again, the intruder avoided the ninjas, who were on break and playing strip poker.

The intruder would have killed all of the ninjas if he needed to. But he wouldn’t have felt too bad to do so. He worked in the food business, he had no pity to give.


End file.
